I Love My Lips
by Gracie-San
Summary: A parody of the song I Love My Lips from Veggie Tales. Pony and Two-Bit have to go to the counselor's office after Johnny and Dallas's death, and Two-Bit tells the counselor one of his biggest fears.


**This is what I do when I'm going through my iTune silly song playlist when I'm bored...**

"I see no point in us going to the counselor's office," Two-Bit said, shoving his hands in his pocket. He didn't like the idea of sitting in a room and talking about how you feel on certain things to a person you hardly even know.

"Well, we have to, Two-Bit. The school is worried about how we're going to react about, you know," Pony said, not finishing. Two-Bit already knew. They tried to skirt around the fact that Dally and Johnny died because it makes everything just seem awkward and they didn't feel like going through that again. "Besides we're already here." Two-Bit realized he was defeated and huffed.

They stopped in front of the brown door and looked at it. "Well," Pony started.

"'Well', what?"

"Aren't you going to knock?"

"Why can't you?" Two-Bit asked, irritated. If he was going to drag him there, he could at least knock on the door.

Pony muttered a "Fine" and knocked on the door. There was a soft "Come on in" and Pony twisted the doorknob, and walked in. Two-Bit slowly followed and looked around him. The color of the wall was a light brown and pictures, posters, and pendants filled the walls. Not to mention the desk was cluttered with stacks and stacks of files.

"You must be Ponyboy and Keith," a small, woman said with glasses. She sat behind her desk, and moved some of the files out of the way so she could see them. "Please, come in and sit on the couch." She motioned her hand and they walked over there and got comfortable on the couch.

"Would you call me Two-Bit, please, ma'am? I don't really go by Keith," Two-Bit said. He really didn't even like the name much anymore. He was glad that his nickname had been adopted for use on the regular basis.

"Oh, well, okay, Two-Bit. I'm Mrs. Haverly. You can talk to me about anything, and I will not tell a soul. It'll be like I'm your confidante." She smiled warmly and they smiled back since they didn't know what else to do. After a few minutes of silence, Mrs. Haverly asked, "Two-Bit why don't you start with something?"

"Like, what?" asked Two-Bit, uncomfortably.

"Well, what's your biggest fear?"

Two-Bit scratched his head to think about it then he came up with a good answer.

_**Two-Bit:  
**__**If my lips ever left my mouth,  
**__**Packed a bag and headed south,  
**__**That'd be too bad, I'd be so sad.**_

Mrs. Haverly said, "I see. That'd be too bad, you'd be so sad?"

"That'd be too bad," Two-Bit responded.

"Alrighty, then," Pony replied uncomfortably.

_**Two-Bit:  
**__**If my lips said  
**_"_**Adios, I don't like you, I think you're gross."  
**__**That'd be too bad, I might get mad.**_

"Hm, that'd be too bad, you might get mad?"

"That'd be too bad."

"Oh, boy."

_**Two-Bit:  
**__**If my lips moved to Duluth  
**__**Left a mess and took my tooth.  
**__**That'd be too bad, I'd try to call my Dad.**_

"Oh dear, that'd be too bad, you'd call your dad?"

"That'd be too bad."

Pony was going to say another smart comment but, Mrs. Haverly interrupted him. "Hold it. Did you say your father? Interesting! So what you're saying is if your lips left you…" her voice trailed off so that, Two-Bit could finish the sentence for her.

_**Two-Bit:**_

_**That'd be too bad, I'd be so sad.  
**__**I might get mad, I call my Dad.**_

"That'd be too bad."

"That'd be too bad?" the counselor asked.

Two-Bit nodded his head. "That'd be too bad."

Pony knew he would end up regretting asking his question, but he had to know. "Why?"

"Because I love my lips!" Two-Bit jumped up on the couch and started scatting while Pony tried to hide his smile. He didn't think the counselor's office would be this fun.

"Oh! Okay! Two-Bit, honey, do you think you can sit back down on the couch? Thank you." Two-Bit plopped back down next to Pony. "So, I'm going to do this experiment, where I show you a picture of something, and you have to tell me what you think it is. Can you do that for me?" Two-Bit nodded.

"Wait!" Pony chimed in. "Aren't shrinks the only one who can do that?" he asked confused.

"Well, this is kind of like a shrink, only on school grounds, so I can do this." Pony shrugged his shoulders. That was a good enough answer for him. She reached under her desk and found some flashcards. "Two-Bit, what do you see here?"

"Um, that looks like a lip," Two-Bit said honestly. She showed another card.

"What about this?"

"It's a lip."

"And this?"

Two-Bit started to sing to the tune of the William Overture, while she went through the stack of flashcards.

_**Two-Bit:  
**__**It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip, lip, lip  
**__**It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip, lip, lip  
**__**It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip, lip, lip  
**__**It's a lip, lip, lip, lip**_

"That's just weird, Two-Bit," Pony said looking at him.

Mrs. Haverly gave a scolding look towards Pony, and asked Two-Bit a question. "Do you want to tell me about your childhood?"

_**Two-Bit:  
**__**Well, when I was just two years old,  
**__**I left my lips out in the cold.  
**__**And they turned blue,  
**__**What could I do?**_

"Oh dear. They turned blue, what could you do?"

"Yep, they turned blue."

"You're enjoying this aren't you?" Pony asked Two-Bit.

_**Two-Bit:  
**__**On the day I got my tooth,  
**__**I had to kiss my Great Aunt Ruth.  
**__**She had a beard and it felt weird.**_

"My, my, she had a beard? And it felt weird?"

"She had a beard."

"Yeah, I've met her. I think she works at the circus as The Bearded Lady."

_**Two-Bit:  
**__**Ten days after I turned 8,  
**__**Got my lips stuck in a gate  
**__**My friends all laughed…**_

"And I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crowbar and I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar, who got stung by a bee, right on the lip, and we couldn't even talk to each other until the fifth week because both our lips were so swollen, and when he did start speaking he just spoke polish, and I only knew like three words in polish except now I know four because Oscar taught me the word for lip! 'Usta'!" Two-Bit said quickly.

"Oh, yeah! I remember that!" Pony said smiling. "We were still laughing after they hauled you to the hospital!"

"Your friends all laughed. Usta. How do you spell that?"

"Like I'm supposed to know." Two-Bit said scrunching up his shoulders.

"So what you're saying is that when you were young?"

_**Two-Bit:  
**__**They turned blue, what could I do?  
**__**She had a beard, and it felt weird.  
**__**My friends all laughed. Usta!**_

"Are you done now?" Pony muttered.

"Nope! Because I love my lips!" Two-Bit stood up on the couch and started jumping up and down, scatting all the while.

"Uh, Two-Bit. Two-Bit. Wait Two-Bit, Two-Bit! That's about enough now, thank you."

"Don't worry, he'll get tired in a few minutes," Pony said. "You just get used to his stupidity after a while."

After Two-Bit had worn himself out, Mrs. Haverly said, "Well, you guys time is up! I'll see you next week!"

"Awesome!" Two-Bit lowered his voice so only that Pony could hear to say, "Counseling wasn't as bad as I thought."

Pony tried his hardest not to laugh and he opened his door for the friend to lead them out.

**I don't think this is as funny as the other ones, but I had to find something relevant. What'd you think? R&R. **


End file.
